


Hopeless joy

by Akiradrabbles



Series: Hopeless joy [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Drowning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Eye Trauma, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Injured Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Mutilation, Other, Please read with caution, Psychological Trauma, Sad Lance (Voltron), Torture, thank you, this story is dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2018-12-25 18:13:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12041448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiradrabbles/pseuds/Akiradrabbles
Summary: "Despite his smiling mask that guarded his true feelings; Lance was not doing great. He found himself wanting to cry from the stabs of hopeless joy that lingered like the smell of a rotting corpse. It just wouldn't go away, no matter how hard and how desperately he tried to cover it up."





	1. Chapter 1

No one paid much attention to Lance McClain.

Or, at least, that was what he had convinced himself after years of accidental neglect from his family. He was the loving brother of three younger siblings and three older ones. And if that wasn't the worst type of middle child situation to be in, he didn't know what was.

Lance spent years desperately attempting to acquire the attention that was simply handed to his siblings. He tried to steal his mother's gaze for just a moment - a second of pure bliss before it would be ripped away from him. Just like everything else in life had been. He had tried everything he possibly could just to get these short lived moments, anything that would allow him to get that satisfaction and quick swell in his heart before it deflated like a balloon that was discarded after the first day of fun. And, Lance decided, that was exactly what he had been. The balloon, one that you had begged your parents to buy for you at a dumb carnival in your hometown. The balloon would be amazing at first, how you would admire it and play with it for a few days after you had received it. Then, you would find that you had no use for it anymore, and quickly moved on to the next fun toy or object that you could find. The balloon would float in the corner of your room, becoming smaller and more shriveled every passing day. And soon, it would be nothing more than the shell of what it had once been, devoid of everything that had kept it afloat.

The young cuban boy had been struck with this thought after he had been filled with an extreme need for attention one sunny afternoon. He had been ten years old, and as he sat in the front yard, playing with his toy - it had dawned on him. Maybe, just maybe, he could preserve the last bit of helium that filled his shell if he could get the attention he had been longing for so long. And it surely didn't matter how, because he needed this more than anything.

He remembered that he had scattered from the plush green grass and ran towards the town's park a few blocks over. He remembered that he had been seeking out the tallest, and most prideful looking tree in the park. He remembered that he had found himself rushing up it, using footholds and rung-like tree branches to pull himself to the top. He remembered standing on the top branch, overlooking the people that were unknowingly scattered in the park. He remembered that feeling of fear that coursed through him as the wind blew a few strands of hair in his face. He remembered that he had a momentary thought of doubt, and how he had pushed it away without hesitation. And he had certainly remembered jumping off.

He had remembered a young couple running towards him with frantic looks spread across their faces, and he had remembered the pain. He remembered being taken to the hospital and the doctor that had informed him of a broken arm. He remembered anxiously waiting for his mother to come, before he snuck away during the night.

And he remembered that no physical pain could even compare to the sting he felt when he walked into his home and found his mother tucking his youngest brother into bed, not even realizing that Lance had gone missing.

\---

“Good morning, Vietnam!” Lance exclaimed, boisterous as ever. His grin, cheeky and glowing, spread ear to ear. Pidge sighed.

“Lance, as much as I would love to have a conversation with you right now..” She hesitated, “I, like many others on this ship, am not a morning person.” Lance cackled and, if it was at all possible, his grin grew in size.

“Of course, my dear pidgeon. Anything for you.” He recited, bowing with a sort of sarcastic elegance. Hunk and Keith, both looking drained, walked in moments later. Hunk, who caught the gesture from Lance, chortled softly.

“Dude, we could hear you screaming about Vietnam from our rooms, what’s with that?” Hunk smiled, before sitting next to Pidge and digging into a green, blobby meal that they almost always had.

“What do you mean ‘What’s with that’? What’s with that? That happens to be an extremely famous line from an extremely famous movie,” Lance groaned, obviously exasperated in a way that only he could get, “You know,” he cleared his throat dramatically before cupping his hands around his mouth to project the sound, “Good morning, Vietnam!”

“We heard you the first time, Lance.” Allura sighed as she walked in, Shiro and Coran at her heals. Although she seemed annoyed, there was a certain admiration and amusement glittering in her eyes.

“Ugh,” Lance scoffed, “Come on, one of you has to know what i’m talking about; Shiro? Keith?” Keith turned his attention towards the Cuban boy, but only rose his eyebrows. Shiro laughed apologetically.

“Sorry, Lance. I never watched many movies when I was younger.” Lance wanted to make a comment that, hey Shiro, you’re only twenty-five, but decided against it. Instead, he flopped back on the couch and groaned dramatically.

“Robin Williams?” he asked, “You know, a really big freaking legend?” When no one said anything, he sank further into his seat and muttered, “I can’t even believe you guys.”

“What have we got planned for today, princess?” Shiro asked as he took a stance near Keith.

Allura sighed softly, “As of right now, we have no leads on Zarkon. So,”

“Break day?” Hunk asked, “Because, i could like, really go for a break day.” Lance hummed in agreement.

“I second that,” He smiled and closed his eyes, “Just me, a lemonade, and the cleanest pores a person could ever ask for.”

“Lance, my boy.” Coran grinned, “If anything, i think i could use some help cleaning the pods today.”

“What?!” Lance shrieked, “Noooo, Coran. You have it all wrong! I think-I think you should...uh…ask someone else?” He finished lamely, sighing and looking down at his feet in utter defeat.

Allura sighed, although amused. “As I was saying, I think maybe a relaxation day may be in order. It seems that everyone is a little exhausted as of lately.” She paused, “However, I want everyone to be ready for an attack. So don't let your guard down.”

There were a few nods in approval, Hunk and Lance letting out a cheer. However, it was all short lived as Coran grabbed Lance by the shoulder and led him away.

Lance loved hanging out with Coran, don't get him wrong. The older man was much like a father figure to Lance, just as much as Coran thought of him like a son. Lance loved listening to the many fascinating stories that Coran would spew, the words drifting through the air and connecting the two together in a tight bond. But, sometimes, Lance couldn't help but feel the grief flood in his stomach as he listened to a story about Altea and Coran’s connections to the royal family. He couldn't help but wish that maybe things could have turned out different.

“You know,” Lance spoke after a moment of silence, his body hunched over a cryo pod as he scrubbed it. “I've been meaning to ask. When- if - we go back to earth, what will you and Allura do?”

The mere sound of home made Lance’s heart swell, but he could admit that he has been getting better at hiding his homesickness. And he had truly been wondering. If they went back to earth, what would the two Alteans do? Would they reside in earth, attempting to hide their identities, or would they spend the rest of their lives in the castle, roaming the universe for years to come?

Coran seemed to ponder the question for a moment, “I'm actually not too sure of this myself, my dear boy.” He paused, “If i'm being quite honest with myself, I would like to say that we will settle down in earth somewhere. But, Allura may be difficult to persuade.”

Without a second's hesitation, Lance found himself spitting words from his lips, “You guys could always stay with me and my family until you get somewhere to stay. I mean- of course it’s up to you. But...I just want to make sure that you know that, when you decide, I will want to help as much as possible!”

The older man laughed, a smile evident on his face. He turned back to the pods without a word. Lance thought maybe it was for the best. It wasn't good to get your hopes up too much.

\----

“Paladins, please report to the control room for important information regarding our upcoming mission immediately.” Lance groaned and sat up from his bed, rubbing the sleep from his tired and droopy eyes. His head pounded at the loud sound that Allura’s voice had produced in the speakers.

He stood up shakily and waited a moment for the spinning in the room to die down. Sluggishly pulling his signature, albeit his only, outfit on, he exited his room and began to drag his feet down the halls.

As much as Lance enjoyed being in space, he certainly wasn't a fan of the castle ship. It was too big, he had decided. He could walk for hours and not run into a single person, unlike his home on Cuba. There, there was no dull moment. Every second was filled with the sound of happy talking and the pounding of feet as his siblings ran around the house. But here, it almost felt like he was alone; completely isolated from everyone and everything.

Lance sighed at the memory of home, but tried not to dwell on it much as he turned back to the task at hand. He made it to the control room rather quickly, and slipped into the room. Hunk smiled as he entered.

“Hey, Lance.” Hunk grinned, “how you doing?”

Lance hummed, “Good! Just a little tired.”

Hunk frowned in response, “You sure you’ll be fine for the mission today, buddy?”

Letting a laugh escape his lips, Lance smiled, “Of course, dude! You know me, I'm always right as rain.” He tried to ignore Hunk’s look of disbelief before he turned around to look at Allura.

Coran, who had walked by on his way to Allura, chuckled and mumbled under his breath. “I will never understand these Earth sayings.”

“Paladins! As you all should know, we are fast approaching a large Galran cargo ship-”

“Wait,” Hunk interrupted, “I’m sorry, but why are we going on a cargo ship? I mean, I'm not complaining, but what would the Galra have on a cargo ship that we want?”

“Information.” Pidge spoke softly, “Right?”

Allura nodded, her white hair bobbing up and down, “Correct. We believe that there is information regarding battle ship movements, as well as prisoners. And for that reason-”

“Prisoners?” Pidge questioned, “Is there any possibility that information on the location of my family could be there?”

After a moment of silence, Allura sighed, “Possibly. But we can't know for sure until we get there.”

“When are we heading out, princess?” Shiro’s eyes were fierce, a sort of passion alight in them; one that Lance couldn't quite place at first. And then it hit him, Shiro wanted to get Matt and Sam Holt back to Pidge as soon as he could.

And of course he did. Everyone did. Lance took a moment to glance at the others’ faces, all of their eyes dead set on the task; dead set on helping Pidge.

Smiling, Lance looked back at Allura.

“We are expected to be right outside of the range area of the ship in two Varga. We will leave then.” She paused, “For this mission, I am having you split into two groups. There are two suspected information rooms, one on the west and one on the east side. Heading to the west will be Shiro and Keith. And then heading to the east will be Hunk, Pidge, and Lance. The west side will contain information on ship movements, and the east will be prisoner locations.”

“What are the drone movements?” Shiro questioned.

“Drones will have usual patrols surveying the ship, and two patrols will be checking the information rooms every thirty dobashes. You must be done with your missions and in your lions by then.”

Lance paused, “Any Galra soldiers?”

“Our radars have not picked up any signs of life besides the pilots, but we can never be too careful.”

Hunk’s eyes filled with worry, and Lance was quick to Intervene, “Don’t worry, guys. If we see any of those purple furries, I'll take my gun and go ‘pew pew pew’” Hunk and Pidge laughed softly. Allura and Shiro rolled their eyes in fake annoyance.

“Purple furries?” Keith questioned incredulously, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“Yeah!” Lance quipped, “Just like you! You’re like a half, purple furry. Well, actually you aren't purple...are you gonna turn purple?”

Keith glared, crossing his arms around his chest and turning away, “No! I'm not- I won't-”

Chuckling, Shiro looked over at Keith, “It’s fine, Keith. If that ever happens, we’ll be sure to get you a collar.” Keith’s eyes widened and he huffed.

Hunk and Pidge were giggling, turning away so they could avoid Keith’s murderous glare. Coran was smiling at their interaction.

And right now, everything was fine. Everything was good.

Allura cocked her head to the side, “What’s a furry?”

\---

Lance stood in front of Blue, gazing at her in the fond way that he always did. He sauntered forward, placing his hand on her large metallic paw. He felt her overwhelming comfort engulf him, her loving purr filling his mind.

“You ready for this, beautiful?” He cooed, smiling up at her. She purred in affirmation. “Of course you are, you sexy thing.” He paused, “you know you’re amazing, right?”

Yes. And so is my paladin.

He laughed, “You sure know how to make a guy blush, Blue.” He turned when the hangar door shot open, looking over at Hunk and Pidge as they entered. After some begging, Lance had been able to convince Allura to allow Lance to take the other paladins to the galra ship in Blue. Pidge had put a new cloaking device on the mechanical lion only a few quintants ago. Lance was more that excited to try it out.

“Ready to go?” He questioned, sitting down on Blue’s paw.

Pidge shrugged, “As soon as Keith and Shiro are done with whatever the hell they’re doing.”

“What are we doing?” Shiro asked, walking in the hangar with Keith in tow. Pidge rolled her eyes.

Before Pidge could make a remark, Hunk jumped in, “So, we all ready? I kinda just want to get this over with, if you don't mind.”

Smiling softly, Lance nodded and turned to Blue. With a knowing huff, the lion lowered her head and placed it softly in front of her paladin. When she didn't open right away, Keith let out a sigh.

“Isn't she going to open up?”

Chuckling, Lance shook his head. “Not until I show her how much I love her!” In one swift movement, Lance had laid his forehead on her nose, placing his hand on the metal and closing his eyes. He said nothing, mentally sending waves of affection to his beloved companion.

The other paladins marveled at the sight; the moment shared between the paladin and his lion. They knew that Lance had the best and strongest bond with his lion, and even felt a pang of jealousy at the interaction. And, for some reason, they felt a little intruding.

After a few moments longer, Lance opened his eyes and leaned back. Almost immediately, the large mouth of Blue opened and lit up.

“Well, come on! Time's a wastin’!”

\---

The flight to the galra ship was no trouble, the cloaked lion bypassing security quickly and easily. Pidge had hacked in and opened a bay door, allowing access to the main floor.

Once Blue landed, she opened up and let the group of paladins out. Shiro was quick to order them to begin their search and send them on their way.

So here they were now, Hunk and Lance guarding a door as they yelled at Pidge to hurry. Red lights flashed and sirens blared. Drones were approaching quickly. Lance knew that whatever galra soldiers were on this ship would soon be here, and that they had to hurry.

“Done!” Pidge yelled, sprinting over and pushing the other two out of the door. “let’s go!”

“Shiro, meet us at the west bay door. That's where Blue will be! We’re going to take an escape pod out!” Lance yelled into the comms, relieved when he heard Shiro’s voice yell is affirmation. “Hunk! On your left!” They were quickly being overrun by drones. And that wouldn't have been a problem if, when they were ten feet from the escape pod, a sword was swung at Lance’s neck, escaping skin but nicking a few stray hairs. He turned, gasping as he saw the galra soldiers that had begun to pour into the room.

Lance was suddenly wondering what had even triggered the alarm earlier. Shiro and Keith hadn't been spotted, and neither had they. When the alarm had gone off, neither Shiro nor Pidge were even touching the control panels in the information room and-

It hit Lance like a ton of bricks.

This has been a trap from the start. And, unfortunately, team voltron had walked straight into it.

“Guys?!” Lance called, turning around and seeing Pidge and Hunk in the escape pod. Hunk turned and looked at him, his eyes frantic.

“Lance! Hurry up, come on!” Hunk’s eyes caught sight of the galra soldiers, and he yelled for Lance again.

Pidge was fiddling with the controls of the pod, pressing buttons until she called, “I got it! We just need to activate it!”

And Lance, in just a few seconds, knew that if they waited too much longer they would all be taken. The galra soldiers were running towards the pod, two of them slashing at Lance.

Pidge was yelling again, calling for him to hurry up. But Lance couldn't make out the words, only hearing the soft thumping of his heart against his chest. Lance knew that in just a few seconds Pidge and Hunk would be caught and there was no way he could make it in time and-

Lance swiveled on the balls of his feet, aiming his bayard at an activation panel on the outside of the pod. He took the shot and, of course, he made it. Pidge and Hunk noticed his plan a second too late, the doors closing and a countdown from ten filling their ears.

“Lance!” Pidge screamed over the comms, “Lance! Please, you can make it!”

And maybe he could have, he had thought. But what good would it have been to take that chance? The stakes had been too high. And if Pidge and Hunk would be captured, Lance would never forgive himself.

Hunk yelled for him, telling him to watch out. There were galra soldiers behind him. Shiro and Keith were screaming as well, but their voices were soaked in confusion and desperation.

But Lance heard it before he felt it. He heard the soft grunt of the galra soldier behind him, the whoosh of a sword piercing through the air. “Don't look.” He spoke, staring dead straight at his friends that were just beyond a pane of glass. They looked horrified, screaming words that Lance just simply couldn't understand; couldn't hear.

In just a few seconds, however, all Lance could hear was his wail of pain as a sword was forced into the small of his back and pushed forward until it came out his stomach. His eyes widened, and in that moment he wished that they would just look away; that Pidge and Hunk would just please look away. “D-don't-” he tried to repeat, but the blood filling his mouth made it hard.

The countdown reached one, and Pidge screamed as the pod shot into space.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge doesn't know what to do.

Pidge dropped to the ground, a sob ripping through her lips and burning her chest. She could hear, faintly, Hunk yelling and pounding on the glass. She heard muffled voices of Keith, Shiro, Allura, and Coran. All begging to know what was going on, all begging to know what was happening to Lance. She felt pathetic when she couldn't bring herself to tell them. With a muffled scream, she tore her helmet from her head and threw it forward, not looking up to see where it hit.

She gripped her head and cried, screaming with a forcefulness that made her throat burn. “Fuck!” She couldn't shed her brain from the mental image that was Lance, staring at them with fear in his eyes; with blood dripping from his mouth. With a fucking sword in his gut. “Fuck!” The galra couldn't take another brother from her, they just couldn't.

She felt a hand lay itself on her shoulder, and she jumped. She looked up, staring into the eyes of Hunk. And if this was supposed to make her feel better, it wasn't. Because...shit. Hunk was Lance’s best friend. From what she had gathered, they had known each other since sometime in middle school. As shitty as she felt, Pidge couldn't imagine what Hunk as feeling. Watching your best friend in the world be impaled wasn't something that you can just shake off.

But Hunk. Precious, amazing, selfless Hunk. He looked Pidge straight in the face, and although tears were streaming from his eyes, he put his hand on her shoulder and comforted her. “Pidge. We have to get out of here.” It looked like it hurt to say, “The galra. This was a trap. We fell for it and now we have to go.”

“We can't!” She gasped, “Lance-”

Pidge watched as Hunk let a sob rip through him, then regained his composure, “I know. I know. I don't want to leave him either. But we can't...stay here. Shiro and Keith are in blue, but she won't leave. She won't leave Lance. She won't-” he buried his head in the palms of his hand, a low whine rippling through his chest. “I don't want to leave Lance.”

Pidge’s eyes softened, her head drooping slightly. She crawled across the pod, grabbing her helmet and pushing it onto her head. “Shiro…” she mumbled, listening to them yell at the lion that him and Keith were currently in.

“Pidge! Are you okay?” She almost wanted to laugh at the question. Because, no, she wasn't okay. She was just about to leave her brother, cold and dying on the floor of a galra ship.

“Shiro.” She spoke, her voice shaking, “What are we going to do?”

“I don't…I don't know.” He sounded so utterly defeated, and Pidge felt even more panic overcome her.

“Paladins!” Allura yelled, “You must get out of there. Now. There are sightings of seemingly hundreds of galra fleets on the way. We cannot wait much longer.”

And if Pidge was scared before, she was terrified when all she heard was silence. No one knew what to do, not even Shiro, who had always seemed to have a plan to pull out.

“We can't get Blue to go, Allura.” Shiro’s voice was soft, scared.

“Where is Lance?” She questioned, and Pidge wasn't sure how she would be able to muster up the courage to tell them.

Thankfully, she didn't have to.

A low whine ruffled through the speakers in their helmet, and a deep gasp for air followed. The next few breaths were slow, rasping and desperately trying to regain their breath. A wet cough followed another gasp, and Pidge realized with a sob that Lance still had his helmet on. He was listening as they talked about leaving him, alone and scared in a galra ship.

“Blue…” he moaned, his words slurred and the back of his throat wet with blood.

“Lance!” Hunk screeched, and rest of the team inhaled sharply. Pidge swore she could hear Allura stifling a cry.

“Blue…” he repeated, “Blue...leave.”

“Lance, we’re coming back for you!” Pidge sobbed,

The comma were silent for a few moments, and the team worried that Lance was unable to speak, “No…” His voice, soft and almost incoherent, was laced with a thick layer of anxiety. “No, don't.”

“Lance-!”

“Beautiful, please take them back...please, blue.” Lance coughed, “Please-”

“What happened?” Pidge demanded, “what...what happened?!”

“Communications seemed to have dropped.” Coran solemnly noted, his voice shaky in a way none of them had ever heard.

“Why? Why would they-”

“Blue is back online!” Shiro called, “She's starting to move. Pidge, Hunk we’ll be there in just a few ticks.”

“But-”

“We have another battleship entering through a wormhole, Paladins. You must be quick!” Allura seemed panicked, which was one of the first times for the seemingly cool headed female.

Nonetheless, Pidge wanted to scream. Scream at them. Scream at the galra. Scream at Lance. She rid the last thought from her mind. She couldn't bear the feeling of anger towards Lance; hell, she couldn't even make herself to be mad at Lance.

How could she? He didn't choose to get stabbed in the stomach. Didn't choose to have what happened happen to him.

He may not have been able to change what happened, but they sure as hell could. They could turn back, go back and save Lance. But her teammates, who supposedly cared for Lance and wished for his safety, were leaving him for who knows what. Pidge couldn't understand.

Pidge’s heart was beating at a rapid pace, and she felt like she was about to vomit out her lungs. She startled when the escape pod shook, and she looked out the window to see the blue lions teeth clamped on to the top of the metal.

“Hunk…” she weakly called, turning blindly to her friend. She wanted to scream into the comms, but she found that her voice would no longer raise above a whisper.

Hunk sounded terrified and choked up, “Yeah, Pidgeon?”

Pidgeon? Pidgeon. Hunk called her Pidgeon?

Oh, she thought.

Lance had called her Pidgeon.

She stepped forward on shaky legs, collapsing into Hunk as he sat on the ground. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her small body. He held her as she sobbed, muttering “we have to go back” over and over again.

“I know…” he whispered, “I'm so sorry you had to see that.” She shook in his grasp, clenching his armor with her fist.

~~~

They landed in the castle, and Blue set the escape pod down gently. However, Pidge and Hunk didn't move for what seemed like hours.

By the time Shiro was at the escape pod door, asking if they could open up, Pidge’s eyes were raw and dry from crying.

She untangled herself from Hunk, who seemed reluctant in letting her go, and stood on shaky legs. She caught a glance of the rest of the team outside of the pod window, but ignored them and shambled over to the control panel. She pressed a few buttons, waiting for the doors to open. When they did, however, she became startled as someone wrapped their large arms around her. Pidge didn't realize that they sank to the ground until her knees hit the floor.

“Katie…are you okay?” Shiro. Pidge didn't even think any more tears could flow at that point.

But they did.

“Lance...he...he-” she tried to get her words out, but couldn't as the sobs once again resurfaced. She felt a hand lay itself on her shoulder, and looked up to Allura. Coran and Keith were by Hunk, who had yet to move from his spot.

“Don't push yourself, Pidge. You either, Hunk. When you’re ready, tell us what happened.” Allura smiled softly, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Pidge heard Hunk take a deep breath, before he started speaking. “We got overrun...there were-were way to many, uh, galrans for us to take on.” He paused, closing his eyes, “And, uh, L-Lance…he got separated from us. We didn't...god, we didn't even notice. Pidge...she, um, activated the escape pod. And when we called for Lance...He couldn't make it...he knew that he couldn't and he s-sacrificed himself. He shot at the panel with his bayard and that was it. We couldn't…we couldn't have done anything at that point.” Hunk covered his face with his hands.

“How bad were...were his injuries at that point?” When Keith spoke, Pidge was startled at the fact that they never told them what had happened at that point.

“One of the galrans…” Pidge jumped at the sound of her own voice, “One of those...monsters.” She looked up at Allura and Shiro, “Pushed a sword through his fucking gut.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is long overdue...sorry! 
> 
> Anyway, we get a look into the team, specifically Pidge's, thoughts as they leave the area and find out more about what went down on that Galra ship.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING BEFORE CHAPTER!!!  
> There is mild violence and graphic content, brief descriptions of vomiting, and Keith says a not so nice thing (he didn’t mean it!) about Lance dying and it is semi gory in description. So please be warned! If you need to know where these parts are in order to skip them before you read please comment below and I will message you back as soon as possible!!

Lance awoke to darkness and pain. A dull throb blanketed around his head, but it couldn't even compare to the pain that shrouded his stomach. He attempted to sit up, but a dizziness that clouded his vision sent him back down. He remembered little of the events that had led up to this point, but he knew in the back of his mind, with a certain indescribable panic, that he must get out of here. Lance tried to stand on his sore and shaky legs, but he stood too quickly for his weakened body to comprehend and was sent back down to the ground with a groan. There was a sickening smell in the air that made him nauseous.

There was little light in the room. A small purple glow resonated off of the shut door and-

Lance felt his breath hitch at the sight. Purple. Purple light. Galra. That smell was horrible. Stomach pain. Galra ships have purple light. His stomach was burning. Burning? Yes, most certainly burning. That smell was horribly strong. He was prisoner of a Galra ship. He had been stabbed in the stomach with a spear. Was he dead?

“No,” he muttered, “No no no no,” his voice slowly began to grow in volume. Something next to him beeped, and the whole room lit with dull purple light. A soft hum resonated from the door.

He took the newly lit room to his advantage, and bent his head down to look at where the pain was coming from. Lance placed his hand down to the bandages that covered his bare abdomen and hissed, peeling them away carefully. The smell immediately tripled, filling the air and making Lance turn to his side to expel his stomach contents, which were minimal, onto the cold metal floor beside him.

After he finished, Lance plugged his nose and turned to look at his stomach again. The burning feeling was doubled now that it was uncovered, and Lance grimaced as he glanced at the injury.

A large area on his lower abdomen was red and bubbly, the injury hot to the touch and burned badly to stop the bleeding. The idea of his wound being sloppily cauterized sent panic shivering up his spine. The fear of the inevitable infection was floating in the back of his mind.

He sobbed, covering his wound up again with the blood soaked bandage. He tried to distract himself by thinking of his friends, his family, whom he had remembered had left safely in their lions. Hunk and Pidge...he couldn’t get their horrified faces out of his mind and couldn’t stop their terrified screams from ringing in his ears. He covered his face with his hands and tried to stop himself from trembling any further.

A click at the front of the room made Lance jump, and he quickly looked ahead. The door opened with a whoosh, and two heavily armored guards walked in, large spears in their hands -Lance felt his heartbeat spike- and blasters holstered into their uniform. Without a word, one of them roughly grabbed Lance by his arm and dragged him to his feet. “Hey,” he struggled, “what the hell-” bile once again rose in his throat, but he forced it down with a rough and painful gulp. The other soldier wrapped his hand around Lance as well and, before he knew it, he was out in a lit hallway and being painfully dragged down it. He struggled as best he could, wriggling and spitting venomous words. However, despite his hardest efforts, he was forcefully dragged into a new room.

The walls were like every other wall in the ship, a disgusting purple that Lance was most certainly sick of by now. Couldn’t these guys bother to give their ship an update? There was a large table in the middle of the room, straps dangling helplessly from the sides. Lance struggled intensely when he laid his eyes upon it, and one of the Galra seemingly became angry at his attempts of escape and sent a harsh blow to his already injured abdomen. He felt his knees buckle and was helpless as the two soldiers brutally shoved his double overed body onto the cold metal.

He lost his breath at the action, and lay wheezing as he desperately tried to bring his breathing back to a normal, steady pace. While one of the soldiers held him down by his chest - not that it really would have mattered either way - the other tied the restraints firmly to his wrists and ankles. When the two Galra were finished, they stood back and one of them smirked. The other snickered as he glared down at Lance, amusement twinkling in his eyes. Lance turned his face away, uncomfortable with the stares he was receiving. He half expected the two of them to taunt him, laugh in his face. However, he felt relief flood through him when they left the room without another word.

The relief, however, turned into fear as the room became pitch black.

\---

Hunk worried. A lot. He was a constant worrier. But, he supposed that that was just how he was. And if there was anyone in the whole world that Hunk worried about the most, it would be Lance.

Lance and Hunk had been friends for years, so it was only natural that their bond exceeded that of the others. The two best friends had confided secrets in each other that would never have reached the ears of anyone else.

So, naturally, Hunk was aware of Lance’s insecurities. Hunk was aware that Lance had feelings of doubt and worry and, for reasons unbeknownst to Hunk, secretly thought that he was a burden to everyone else.

Hunk knew these things, yes. But he was unaware about how often these feelings of doubt resurfaced. Sometimes? All the time? It was hard to tell when it came to Lance.  
  
Lance was good at many things, Hunk would be the first to admit. And Hunk naturally knew that his best friend was an exceptional actor. Hunk had tried to convince him during their first year of middle school to audition for the school play, but Lance had declined with a laugh. When he had insisted, Lance joked that his amazing skills would simply trump all of the other actors, and that he wasn’t that cruel.

Hunk had been upset for sure, but gave up on convincing Lance any further.

Hunk would never admit that no matter how good of an actor Lance really was, Hunk was almost never convinced. Hunk knew. And Hunk saw.

But Hunk never acted upon his observations.

He was terrified of Lance’s reaction. He didn’t want to lose the best friend that he had ever made. But there were times that Hunk was convinced, albeit very few. And those times made all the difference. Sometimes it made Hunk doubt. And when he doubted...

He felt horrible about it; he felt like a coward. Maybe, if he had just said something...done something. Maybe Lance would be safe in his bed this morning, sleeping soundly. Maybe the rest of the team wouldn’t be sitting in the common room, all of them sleep deprived and worry stricken. Tears dried on their faces.

Pidge was lying against his arm, her sniffling quieting down but her shaking never ceasing. Her eyes were wide, and if Hunk wasn’t continuously staring at her he would have been worried that her eyes were hurting from not blinking.

He ran his hand through her hair soothingly, before glancing at their leader. “Shiro?” The man in question startled before glancing over at Hunk. “What should we do?”

Shiro rubbed his eyes, “Coran. Is there any way for us to track the ship?”

Coran deflated, “Without a ship number or scan prior to it leaving, it will be very difficult.” His eyes were red and his usually rosy cheeks were pale and puffy.

“And anyway,” The princess tried to regain her composure, “We cannot be sure that the ship he will be on later will be the same one we visited. He could be transported to different parts of the system.”

“Can’t we look through any databases?” Hunk suggested, desperate for an idea; a plan that would bring Lance back as soon as possible. “I’m sure that his capture would be documented.”

“It’s not always that easy,” Pidge muttered, these the first words she had spoken since they left the escape pod, “They...would know that we would look there first. They may never even put him into the system. Who knows.” Her eyes were blank, her stare never leaving the wall that was distantly in front of her.

“Who knows?” Keith roared, “Yeah,” he bitterly laughed, “who knows? Maybe Lance is dead? Maybe his bloody body was shot out of an airlock into space and all of the flesh of his body is slowly corroding off!” He stood from his spot and glared at Pidge, “Who knows? Maybe everything we try to do will be completely and utterly pointless!” Pidge crashed into Hunk’s body and sobbed, muttering apologies under her breath.

“Keith!” Shiro hissed, his voice breaking, “Don’t say that!”

“Why not? I mean, it seems like everyone is acting like there is absolutely nothing we can do anyway. Why should I even bother if everyone else is acting like Lance is some lost cause!” Keith scowled, starting to rub viciously at his eyelids.

Hunk felt his cheeks heat in anger, because how dare Keith say that? How dare Keith imply that they simply didn’t care-

“How dare you.” Allura stood from her seat, her fists clenched and her whole body shaking. “How dare you say that.” Coran reached for her, but she shrugged him off and confronted Keith. “How dare you say that we do not care about Lance’s well being. I care about all of you more than anything in this universe. You are my…” her voice shook, “my family. And I will not tolerate you saying such vile things to people I love and care about.”

There was a silence that rang about the room. Allura’s words were ringing in their ears. Keith felt tears welling up in his eyes, but he didn’t let them fall.

“I wish Lance was here.” Allura continued, “I wish he was here and I wish that this wasn’t happening. I wish that I would have done something more.”

“Princess,” Hunk sighed, looking at her with wide and watery eyes.

“But they are.” She spoke, “And we can’t change that. What we can do, however, is find Lance.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is way overdue and rather short. I apologize greatly. 
> 
> I love this story and I have so many ideas that I would love to implicate, so I have no intentions of giving up on this story. School has been extremely difficult for me recently, and I had my first day of finals today. But! I really want to start doing a weekly chapter update. So I am asking all my lovely followers what day is most convenient:
> 
> Wednesday or Saturday? 
> 
> I may start doing bi weekly updates in the future, and these would be the two days I would be willing to do. But for now which is better for you guys regarding once a week updates? Please let me know!
> 
> Okay, on to what happened this chapter:
> 
> We get a slight look into what’s going on with Lance, and that wound isn’t looking so good. It was sloppily cauterized and the potential infection could be extremely deadly if left untreated. He got strapped down on a table, and next chapter we will get to know what a little of the galras plans for our dear blue paladin. 
> 
> And Hunk! I love Hunk, and I love writing his thoughts. He is kind and amazing and I can’t get enough of him!! Him and Lance’s relationship to me is beautiful, and I can’t wait to put more of Hunk into further chapters!
> 
> Keith is bad at emotions, and he doesn’t know how to express himself. He was angry and he’s upset and he didn’t mean what he said. At all. I don’t hate Keith, but I think he would let his emotions run rapid and he wouldn’t be able to control what comes from his mouth. He wants Lance to be okay, and he wants everyone to form a plan and for them to get out there as soon as possible.
> 
> And I may be a slight stan for platonic (and romantic haha) Allurance...that is in no way a ship here, at least romantically. But I can definitely see Lance and Allura becoming besties!! And I truly believe that Allura sees the team more that just soldiers fighting her war, but more as friends and, dare I say it, her family. And trust me when I say that you will end up seeing a lot more of this as this story progresses!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first voltron fic! Please leave comments and suggestions!
> 
> My Tumblr is @lanceylangst if you want to talk!


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